October 20, 2005

The Beardie Lifestyle

Q: What do bearded dragons eat anyways? Crickets? And what else? -Boni
What do you eat? Where do you live? - Fiona Bun

A: Oh you sweet dears, to be so concerned that I am getting enough food. In fact, Ms. Boni, I do eat crickets. I also eat superworms, the larvae of a beetle known as Zoophobas mario. All of my protein sources must be living, as I will not eat them served dried or frozen. They look like this:


In addition, I eat leafy green vegetables such as collard and turnip greens, an occassional sample of mango, a dash of green pepper, and squashes of the acorn and butternut variety.

Miss Fiona Bun, I still have not answered your question. Bearded dragons are naturally desert dwelling reptiles. I, however, and for reasons I do not understand, live in a 55-gallon glass terrarium. I do have a sandy substrate and UV lighting, with a nice, flat rock for my basking pleasure. I suppose this is adequate, although I certainly would be pleased to have some intellectually stimulating literary material available while I bask.

Sincerely,
Chloe

October 19, 2005

Feeling rejected already

Q: Dear Miss Chloe, I seem to have some difficulty making friends in cyberspace. You see, I am a delightful and trustworthy confidante, supportive of others, and smart too. Yet when I invite others to partake of my wisdom, they do not choose to do so. Is there something wrong with me? Are they frightened by my scales? -Chloe

A: *shrugs* Some things even I don't know!

Sincerely,
Chloe

October 18, 2005

Beardie bits

Q: What are you? -Fiona Bun

A: Fiona dear, I am so glad you asked! I am a bearded dragon, a reptile of Australian origin. I am called a bearded dragon because when I get stressed or defensive, my beard turns black and flares out from my throat. My beard is really a bluff, but it frightens predators so that is all that counts, right? Just don't tell anyone it's a trick. (I don't want to be responsible for my wild cousins being someone's dinner.)

Sincerely,
Chloe

Oh my

Q: Me asks, is it true that crickets taste like chicken? -Gigolo Kitty

A: Chicken? EWWW! That's meat they serve dead. I don't eat dead things I didn't kill! What a disturbing concept. But to answer your question, GK, imagine a walnut. You crunch into it and then it gets a bit chewy. Sometimes the crickets have a calcium-powder aftertaste though.

Sincerely,
Chloe

October 17, 2005

Well, hello!

Alright then. I am Chloe. Anything else you want to know?