Just Ask Chloe

A Thanksgiving Ponderance

2006-11-25T11:43:00.000-05:00

Q: What am I most grateful for this Thanksgiving? -Miss Chloe

A: One thing I have been blessed with is loyal friends. Yes, dear readers, that is you. Thank you for your devout faith in my ominpotence. I am also thankful for a mum and dad who feed me. And the greens they feed me. And most importantly, I am grateful for the crickets who valiantly sacrifice their lives so that I may have a full belly at the end of the day. I only wish there were more like them!

Sincerely,
Chloe

Time flies

2006-10-11T10:18:00.000-04:00

Oh my! Has it been nearly a year since I last posted? How on earth have I managed to spend all this time still savoring the last of the yuletide season? In fact, I have not been doing said activity. Spring and summer have passed, and alas it is autumn. Glorious autumn! It will soon be time to retrieve holiday decorations from the attic. Oh dear readers, so much time has passed and I apologize. You all must have felt lost without the comfort of my wisdom to guide you through the questions and tribulations of life.

No? What do you mean when you say my silence has not affected you much? Oh my.

A season for everything

2005-12-31T13:27:00.000-05:00

Well, dears, the holiday season is coming to a close. By midnight, Mum will have put away the decorations and the tree. Here I am, savoring the last of these yuletide moments.

May you be blessed with an adventurous New Year!

Sincerely,
Chloe

For cats seeking recovery

2005-12-23T22:15:00.000-05:00

Q: Hi Chloe, I have a question. If Sylvester the Cat never catches the Tweety bird, how come he has such a fat tummy? -Boni

A: Miss Boni, this is a rather interesting concern you are pondering. Indeed, Sylvester does have quite the enlarged abdomen. I suspect that Mr. Sylvester has grown increasingly frustrated. Perhaps his desperation has become so intense that he has formed an addiction to alcohol to escape his feelings of hopelessness about not being able to catch his dinner. Repeated consumption of excessive quantities of alcohol has been known to add weight around one's stomach. I do hope that the starving feline reaches out for help. If you see him, please direct him to Alcoholics Anonymous. However, do not worry yourself too much if Mr. Sylvester denies his problem and continues drinking. As difficult as it may be to watch a fellow feline struggle, please remember that change will only occur when Sylvester wants to change, and when he is ready.

Sincerely,
Chloe

I am thankful for...

2005-11-28T10:03:00.000-05:00

Well, hello again everyone! I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving filled with joyous fellowship and feasting. I enjoyed an extra grande salad of turnip greens, mustards, collards and kale. Then, I dined on crickets to my heart's delight! It was simply fabulous.

Last evening, my maternal and paternal figures (they aren't my biological parents, you see, as they are human!) cleaned my cage thoroughly. The substrate has been replaced, as well as the UV bulb. It is like having a brand new sun in the sky! So, this is something for which I am thankful. I simply wanted to share my gratitude with you all.

Is there something you are especially thankful for this season?

Sincerely,
Chloe

A much-needed break from basking

2005-11-21T10:43:00.000-05:00

Good heavens, what a lot of catching up there is to do! I find it rather splendid that you all have sought my wisdom. I will do my best not to disappoint anyone.

Q: What kind of intellectually stimulating reading material do you like Chloe? I think the place to bask sounds good. It sounds like napping in the sun and I like to do that. -Boni

A: Boni, it is delightful that you appreciate the warmth of the sun. One difference between us, however, is that I am a reptile which means I am cold-blooded. This means that I depend solely upon external sources of heat to keep me warm and supply my body with energy. Indeed, basking is required for my survival! It helps me metabolize my food and absorb ultraviolet light which is another essential for a lizard's health.

With regard to your question about intellectually stimulating reading material, I immerse myself in a variety of texts. Whether reviewing and explaining the basics of an IRA plan to my human, or exploring the vast array of information contained in the articles of USA Today, I am fascinated with everything taken in by my brain!

Q: Me Ask, How Can I Make Me Fur More Soft And Luminous? - Gigolo Kitty

A: First, Gigolo Kitty, you want to ensure that your human is providing you sufficient nutrients in your diet. A natural diet high in protein and vitamins and without preservatives is recommended. Alternatively, a high quality commercial food is good. "Fish body oils (not cod liver oil) and flax seed oils add lots of essential fatty acids which will quickly show up as sleek fur. Safflower oil also can help a bit too. Adding about a ½ teaspoon at each meal is usually sufficient. B vitamins, acidophilus and kelp also may assist in getting the skin in better condition... Herbs that can help include burdock root, dandelion, and sage. Jojoba oil and lecithin are also beneficial." The Original Holisticat

Q: Why is it that my Michelina's mandarin chicken tastes like fish? - Puggyspice

A: What a dilemma you have, Puggyspice! It is possible that you have some kind of olfactory disorder. If so, your ability to smell can affect the taste of your food. More information can be found here. Of course, you may also want to review my response (above) to Gigolo Kitty's question, which emphasizes the importance of a natural diet without preservatives. I am 100% certain that your Michelina's products are not all natural or very high quality.

Q: Who the f*ck is this anon blogger who proposed to me? - Puggyspice

A: Miss Puggyspice! Two questions from you in one day is a bit overwhelming. However, I may reconsider your question when you can address me without the use of profanity. I know what that word is, the asterick does not fool me.

Q: Chloe? Are you ok? I get concerned about friends and gotta check on them sometimes. - Boni

A: Sweet Boni, your concern is touching. In fact, I am okay and have been preoccupied with pondering the ways of the world. But thank you for caring!

Q: You talked about your wild cousins in earlier post - have you ever been out in the wild? - Mia and Ghost

A: Mia and Ghost,I actually have not been in the wild. I was born in captivity and then exchanged for money by my breeders. My human brought me home in May, 2003. I have no recollection of my feet ever touching grass or even a sidewalk, much less real sand from the deserts of Australia!

Q: My humans are nuts. Why is this? - Moseskitty

A: Oh my, this is quite peculiar, Moseskitty. I shall need additional information to provide you an accurate response. Tell me - are your humans the kind of nut that is like a seed covered with a hard shell? Or are they more or the metallic sort often paired with a bolt? Then again, perhaps you are using slang for the male gonads known as testicles? Some elaboration can assist me in understanding your quandary.

Sincerely,
Chloe

The Beardie Lifestyle

2005-10-20T11:57:00.000-04:00

Q: What do bearded dragons eat anyways? Crickets? And what else? -Boni
What do you eat? Where do you live? - Fiona Bun

A: Oh you sweet dears, to be so concerned that I am getting enough food. In fact, Ms. Boni, I do eat crickets. I also eat superworms, the larvae of a beetle known as Zoophobas mario. All of my protein sources must be living, as I will not eat them served dried or frozen. They look like this:

In addition, I eat leafy green vegetables such as collard and turnip greens, an occassional sample of mango, a dash of green pepper, and squashes of the acorn and butternut variety.

Miss Fiona Bun, I still have not answered your question. Bearded dragons are naturally desert dwelling reptiles. I, however, and for reasons I do not understand, live in a 55-gallon glass terrarium. I do have a sandy substrate and UV lighting, with a nice, flat rock for my basking pleasure. I suppose this is adequate, although I certainly would be pleased to have some intellectually stimulating literary material available while I bask.

Sincerely,
Chloe

Feeling rejected already

2005-10-19T19:44:00.000-04:00

Q: Dear Miss Chloe, I seem to have some difficulty making friends in cyberspace. You see, I am a delightful and trustworthy confidante, supportive of others, and smart too. Yet when I invite others to partake of my wisdom, they do not choose to do so. Is there something wrong with me? Are they frightened by my scales? -Chloe

A: *shrugs* Some things even I don't know!

Sincerely,
Chloe

Beardie bits

2005-10-18T19:34:00.000-04:00

Q: What are you? -Fiona Bun

A: Fiona dear, I am so glad you asked! I am a bearded dragon, a reptile of Australian origin. I am called a bearded dragon because when I get stressed or defensive, my beard turns black and flares out from my throat. My beard is really a bluff, but it frightens predators so that is all that counts, right? Just don't tell anyone it's a trick. (I don't want to be responsible for my wild cousins being someone's dinner.)

Sincerely,
Chloe

Oh my

2005-10-18T19:20:00.000-04:00

Q: Me asks, is it true that crickets taste like chicken? -Gigolo Kitty

A: Chicken? EWWW! That's meat they serve dead. I don't eat dead things I didn't kill! What a disturbing concept. But to answer your question, GK, imagine a walnut. You crunch into it and then it gets a bit chewy. Sometimes the crickets have a calcium-powder aftertaste though.

Sincerely,
Chloe

Well, hello!

2005-10-17T12:14:00.000-04:00

Alright then. I am Chloe. Anything else you want to know?